I felt like my entire world was crashing in on me. First I lost my car it died, I felt like it was out of the blue.... I knew it was coming, my car was a 1997. Then I went to work, after my first mind told me not to go. Of course I was told to punch out because someone did not wish to work with me. I've never experienced that before EVER! I grew physically sick.
I wanted to hurt myself, I just felt stupid for not listening to myself. I couldn't subject myself to such stress.I left BOOM! lost my job. My mother sat me down and talked to me. I still gave no fucks about what she was saying. I was at my breaking point. I'm not accustomed to being broke. I'm far from rich yet I am not poor. I just couldn't fathom no car, no job all I thought about was death....
So I began researching I needed help, sadly I came up with nothing. My final step to help myself was to just PRAY. I talked directly with my Rabb I made Dua's asking for guidance. Upon waking up yesterday morning I realized, I am not just an ATM to my children they actually have missed me.
My children have been enjoying my company for the past week. Telling me the most amazing stories,they actually like my food and bedtime stories I just LOOOOVE IT!! I understood that I had not lost everything. Everything I needed were right in the house with me. I now know and understand ,"I AM BLESSED. I NO LONGER WORRY ABOUT HOW THE NEXT BILL WILL BE PAID."
" I say all this to remind you of what I have forgotten. Life is short mom. It's not all about the material things. When your time is up, your children won't remember the things you bought them. They will remember the time you didn't spend with them, the shows you didn't go to and, the lack of love and attention they needed. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone which is a very hard reality for everyone to take in."
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